the race that stops the ... zzzzzzz

I would be willing to bet that, by way of distinguishing today's "sporting" event from most others:

• the winner of today's race will have almost no idea what it's doing and why it's running around
• the winner, and every other participant, will be whipped
• most people watching the event will have little interest in the athletic endeavour or achievement involved, or at least will be more interested in the result of their bet than the result of the race

Of all the great sports that we play in Australia, there is only one event during which it is taboo to schedule meetings, and for which we can legitimately drink at work and wear silly hats. Why, in god's name, is that event in such a mindlessly boring "sport" as horseracing?

For me, the whole "racing season" is just a wasted month in the Australian sporting calendar lost in between the winter (football) and summer (cricket, tennis, golf) seasons, that would be better spent on something, anything, else.

plain colours only

I've gone away from posting and commenting on news reports lately, but this one piqued my interest.

So let me get this straight. No national flags/symbols. At the Olympics. Didn't we popularise sport in order to provide a safer outlet for partisan feelings? If you can't wave a flag at the olympics, exactly where can you wave a flag??? The more I think about this, the more confused I become.

Also, the idea of a (the) major sporting event without commercial images is just hilarious. Of course, the official sponsors will still be plastered everywhere, I expect, so having a ridiculous regime is the best thing that ever happened to the official sponsors.

(I struggled for a word here - totalitarian and oppressive go too far - but I reckon there can be no debate that the organisers are open to ridicule, especially if they sanction policies like this one).

So if we rule out sporting national images, commercial images, political images, religious images, what can we wear? Plain colours, I guess. Except orange (the Dutch, the Irish), red (communism), green (environmentalism), black (black power), white (nihilism), blue (depression), yellow (cowardice), purple (sexual frustration).

Better go nude.

batshit crazy awards

And the batshit crazy awards for today go to:

• Telstra, who are going to sue the government over broadband rollout contracts. Should that fail, they plan to "tell Mum".
• Manchester United, who have signed a 9 year-old from Brisbane. While that might sound pretty silly, sillier is the fact that they sign about 40 players of that age every year. An honorable mention goes to the family of the kid, who are moving (back) to England in order to be closer to the club. Just to recap, the kid is 9 frikkin years old.